Legit reasons to be an elderly woman.

• You now bear resemblance to such fantastics as Olivia Dehavilland, GREER GARSON, Vivien Leigh, Laurence Olivier, Priscilla Lane, Audrey Hepburn, Gale Sondergaard, Donna Reed, Alec Guinness, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Eva Gabor, Paulette Goddard, Cary Grant, Walter Pidgeon, Liz Taylor, Bob Hope, James Stewart, Marilyn Monroe, Katharine Hepburn, Ginger Rogers, Rita Hayworth, Fred Astaire, Alan Arkin, Veronica Lake, Jane Russell, Bette Davis, Lucille Ball and Robert Donat, who are all old (or accordingly dead), too.
• You get to make cakes all day and not care about how much weight you put on because you've accepted your mortality and frequently use it as a threat to your children when they don't visit often enough.
• No more work.
• You can feed ducks all day instead, or saunter along the beachfront holding hands with other elderly people.
• People give up their seats for you on the bus. No more standing inauspiciously in the walkway! Those days are long gone!
• You can complain all you like and no one cares because you're going to die soon and you're allowed to be angry with the world, mostly for not providing a cure for old age at any point during your life even though 'The World of Tomorrow' assured you that you would never die.
• You get pension pay for sitting around all day chatting shit about inflation and playing tennis on the Wii.
• You get to wear clothes that you would never as a child because you're old and can't remember how to dress.
• You can get an suitably silvering perm.
• Your partner can never leave you because he couldn't possibly hope to find anyone better at such an age. He is tied to you with the bonds of anachronous social normalities and shortage of life.
• Receiving visitors is pleasant, rather than irritating.
• You know the words to every song played on Heart FM, but can't remember your grandchildren's names. That's got to be a comical situation.
• It's acceptable to talk to strangers at bus stops, and it is expected that said strangers pretend to be interested because you're old and emotionally fragile.